Still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets and
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
Everyone approaches change a little differently. There are people who embrace change and those who are paralyzed by it. The other night at my supper club we were having a discussion about how people handle change. One of the members was telling a story about how her husband has been planning to leave is law firm for over a year and he put it off and put it off (like the original date was April and he finally resigned in July) and even after giving notice would talk about continuing to work until she made him stay home that first day. He was miserable for a couple of hours and then Bam!! it hit him. "This is absolutely fantastic." He was like that about buying their new house as well. Kicking and screaming the whole way and as soon as the change is in place he loves it and it is so much better than the previous situation.
I have been looking at my own life lately and have decided that I am the poster child of complacency. Satisfied with what I have, not willing to make changes that might change the status quo. As Chuck Swindoll put it in his essay Prophet Sharing "searching for ways to settle in and find comfort on our sofa-like surroundings...yawning...slumbering in the sleepy, warm twilight of sundown...finding a great deal of security in the mediocrity and predictability of sameness...We are like chatty, laughing tourists taking snapshots of the lowlands through rose-colored filters...enjoying today's lull...we are yesterday-dwellers...avoiding the reality of today..." Yet, I have a tragic flaw, an aspect of my personality that encourages me to make changes, to face my fears, to experience more...and once I take those first steps I return to dragging my feet again, procrastinating or avoiding the changes. But then I remember "Change is a process not an event."
So, here I am sailing along in my complacent life. I have been back in my home town for 9 years now (well 8 and 2/3) working at the same job. There have been some changes, and some losses, but lately I feel a need for change, something different...if only I knew what.
I have cast around for something that catches me and pulls me out of my comfort zone. The State Department said "not this year". Jessie's lowered the price on her house. If only I could figure out what the next step should be... I think I will go browse some yarn sites...